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Saturday, December 8, 2007

The Decison

It's been over a month since I last wrote in this blog. Yet every time I come back to it, my writing flows so fluidly. I believe it has something to do with the fact that it is pure blog. I don't feel pressured to impress anyone. I just feel like this is me in the form of my writing and that is all. Readings, viewers, subscribers, and so on can take it as they please.

This post might seem a bit randomized and for that I can blame my meandering mind. I shall begin with yesterday. I started out the day rather tired. The night prior to that I didn't slumber until five in the morning. I guess in some ways I am trying to get the most fill I can out of life at Missouri State University, and my wonderful suite mates, turned friends. So yesterday I awoke, took a shower and headed over to the library for the end of the semester party.

At this party we (we being all the people that are currently employed by the university's library) all gathered together to enjoy each other and some rather scrumptious vittles. I rather enjoyed working at the library and it was a sad thought to think that at that moment it could be the last time I ever see some of those people. After the party I received a gift from my boss Emily. It was one of those delicious candy canes that are filled with Hersey's kisses, which happen to be one of my favorite candies. I thanked Emily and said goodbye to her and everyone else and was on my way back to my dorm.

In my dorm room I sit relaxed at my desk starring blankly at my computer screen. I was awake for no apparent reason. Just awake. I needed to sleep, I had gotten up at nine and went to bed at five, not exactly a desirable sleep schedule. Yet, I just sit and type and look and chat on the computer. Soon I am asked to go to lunch. I go to lunch. I sit at the booth for three hours. It was really fun though, and I had a good chat with my new friend Ryne. Then my new friend Ben came and sat by us. After that we all ended up hanging out in my dorm room and talking. Then after hours of that we ordered pizza. Then we played rock band, the best modern day video game hands down.

After they left I sat up again with my suite mates till about five. I had to wake up at 9:30 in order to get ready to go and take my final for art. I thought that today was going to be a terrible day. I woke up feeling extremely tired and very unsure about my knowledge of the arts; however, after I left that class today after taking my final, I was sure that I had beaucoup knowledge of the arts. I was throughly prepared and realized that I actually knew a lot of these things on my own. So I left class feeling pretty fantastic.
I then returned to my dorm to get a few hours of shut eye. I woke up in enough time to head over to the library for my obscure two to six shift. It is only obscure because I do not usually work this shift and it is only because of the presence of finals that I work at this time. So here I am. "Working". Is it ironic that I came to college to find what I want to do with my life and all I have found it that my favorite thing about coming here has been the following:
Emily
Working
Meeting Lots of New People
Trying New Things
Making Friends
and so on, but since I came here to find my so called societal purpose in life I have found everything but that here. I have found friends, emotions I never thought I would feel, taken spontaneous trips I more than likely wouldn't have otherwise and have really meet a lot of people. I guess these things are what I am going to miss the most about Missouri State.

Yes, if by now you have not already guessed I have made the decision to leave Missouri State and attend SBU at semester. I am excited, nervous, and just anticipating what will come. I love the thrill of the unknown. Oh the possibilities. I feel like this is a more reasonable and relaxed fit for me. After SBU, who knows where I will go. I am sure I will move somewhere further away. I want to experience America from a different perspective, meaning I want to move to a part of America that I don't know or having experienced. I want to start fresh with no strings attached. This world is more than we think but it just will never be enough.

And so says I, belong to something greater and I search for it within myself and find it in everyone else. Love. Peace. Happiness.

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