Wednesday, May 21, 2008

I Know What To Call You Now

Some say that the one thing you want the most in life is what you are most afraid of. I wonder if that is true? If so I guess I truly desire commitment and to be snuggled up in a really tight spot. Perhaps my claustrophobia and fear of commitment go hand in hand. A little physical to the metaphysical or at least the mental. What am I getting at? I have no real idea. I just know that I am getting somewhere. I am making connections and looking for loose ends to tie up again and again and yet again.

I don't think that I truly desire either one of those things and maybe I am just afraid to stay in one place or with one person for too long. I have no idea. I like people. I like places and things. I am a noun sort of person. I also like verbs but adjectives are my favorite. They allow us to describe the person, the place, and all the things around us. They are like magic within a sentence. The extra 'it' factor that everyone needs to make it.

I think sometimes I am afraid of change but at the same time I don't like things to be so routine either. I don't like all these contradictions but it keeps me juiced and ready for discussion.

I like life. I like the good and the bad. We get to soak up each moment with such emotion that it makes every second worth more than words or images or what they could ever describe. There is nothing like being there. Like touching something or someone. There is nothing like life. There is nothing so bittersweet so delicate and vital so fair and strong. Yes, I rather enjoy life.

I like the extreme highs and the extreme lows that I sometimes have it allows me to get a taste of both sides of the spectrum. I am strange. I am bright. I am loud. I am obnoxious at times and dorky and tech savvy. I have strong feelings towards most issues. I like to think I about all aspects of every concern before making a decision. I like to be over analytical. I am sensitive and strong. I can take words very seriously because for me, words are extremely powerful and wonderful elements of living.

Sometimes when I feel really bad and I know I feel terrible I still keep listening to conor oberst sing but not be cause I am depressed but because I feel a strange connection to his lyrics and they seem to reiterate days, weeks, months, and primary ideas in my life. I haven't listened to bright eyes in a while. Music does a lot to my emotions and my mood. I can always put the strokes on and feel better almost immediately. They bring me back to a time when things were simpler and very upbeat. Then if I turn on devendra banhart I feel a connection to nature and the entire world is one thing. I feel a brilliant embrace being placed around the earth like a blanket when I hear his words. He is like nothing else. And when I listen to Beirut I just wanna go pack my bags immediately and leave America and go live in the older country and find some foreign boy to be my soul mate. Beirut makes me feel homesick for a place that I haven't yet traveled and it makes me feel romantic and beautiful. The beatles are not in a certain category of mood. They seem to have songs that can make me feel better or worse about things. The meanings seem ever changing as I develop as a person. Bob Dylan makes me want to write anything and sing whatever I write however. He inspires me. I feel bolder when I listen to him. He makes me feel pensive and brave and I love to have those two combined.

Whatever the mixture whatever the mood music can and will take me different places. I am now going to recommend a list of ten songs I want all the readers to check out immediately.

1.Hey Mama Wolf-Devendra Banhart
2.Elephant Gun-Beirut
3.Head Home-Midlake
4.Pale Blue Eyes-Velvet Underground
5.Don't Think Twice It's Alright-Bob Dylan
6.Loose Lips-Kimya Dawson
7.Waterloo Sunset-The Kinks
8.Samson-Regina Spektor
9.Her Father and Her-Adam Green
10.I'm Looking Through You-The Beatles

Anyway I hope you will have some suggestions as well but even more I hope you have an excellent day.

1 comment:

mbritton said...

there are weeks where there is nothing that i can listen to other than bright eyes - I don't know what it is. It's not because I'm depressed or anything at the time - far from it. usually i'm in a normal kind of mood. but it's the longing in his voice and in his lyrics that i love - that need to be accepted.

Is his solo stuff any good? I hope so. i'm seeing him at leeds Festival this year and it should be good. OH! And I saw Kimya Dawson a few weeks ago. She's amazing (and I'm ashamed to admit that it was Juno that got me into her and the moldy peaches)