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Monday, October 8, 2007

The Viral

This weekend was family weekend and my wonderful mother and sister came up to see me. I was very happy to see them and I had a magnificent time visiting with them. I have missed them terribly. My mother and sister are for the most part, my family. I would not be able to live without them. While they were up, we went to this fine authentic Italian restaurant. I honestly had the best Italian food I have ever eaten there, and their bread...words cannot describe the perfection in the flour!
We also visited some old friends and ended up spending the night over there. All in all I had a fantastic time, but I cannot wait to go to my home town for a break.

I miss Lindsay! I miss Cricket, Jenna, Aunt Traci, Davey and the beat goes on!

I have been sick now for a little over a week it seems and nothing has happened. I go to the clinic here on campus and all they do is take some of my blood, test it to see if I have mono and the ending result is negative. This has happened twice and yet again I have another appointment to get tested to see if I have mono.

The reason? The particular viral infection that I have is related to mononucleosis and therefore, could possibly turn into that at anytime.

What the doctor says.
Get as much rest as you can, do not kiss anyone, do not let others drink after you. You are contagious.

I am contagious but not just with my viral. I have a personality that seems to seep slowly into other people. I am not sure if I like this trait. I wonder why I am so contagious?

The viral, is what I affectionately call it. I am the viral.


I feel overworked, I want to quit one of my jobs.
I want to work at the library and at the magic bean.
The alumni center is too much for me right now.
can someone say, viral 2 weeks notice?

[I want more people to be relaxed. ]

[I want more of the focus to be on good things]

Friday, October 5, 2007

Reflection Part 2 [Lessons Learned]

My obsession with online writing does not only include me, it extends to nearly everyone and everything. What I mean here, is that I truly enjoy online reading as well. I love to read and write online. The internet is something I hold close to my heart. I am a bit of an addict but I am in no position to quit now. Last night I was reading my subscriptions on xanga. The day before that I was reading someone's general interests section. Each affected me. They each offered me first hand advice. I believe all advice is valuable but first hand being the most valuable.


So here now I want to present you all with my very own first hand advice. I am in no ways to be thought of as a wise man or woman. No, I am just a regular person, for that reason this advice might be of use to you. What one person has lived another can learn from. Also I am just a completely nostalgic person and I cannot resist a chance to reminisce.

First,

Sharing a bedroom isn't all that bad. Especially when you are little. When I was growing up, it wasn't until I was in the sixth grade that I got my own bedroom. Although I saw that as a luxury is wasn't of much use. My sister had her room and I had mine, but at night we would both be asleep in one bed. I guess it was just a comfort thing. If you grow up having someone beside you always, it makes it harder to sleep alone. To everyone I suggest that it is good to share a bedroom with a sibling. It builds a stronger bond.

The sibling bond is a necessary one. To everyone whom has siblings it is vital to have a good relationship with them. I cannot imagine life without mine. So if things aren't so good between you and your siblings then I suggest you patch things up, because they link you forever to your past and no one will ever understand you as much as them.

Do not do anything you are ashamed of. I honestly make this one of my rules to live by. I have such disdain for someone who participates in behaviors that they are ashamed off. I suggest not doing that particular action or not being ashamed of it. This is just hypocritical and doesn't help anyone.

Watch people. People are the most interesting thing about life. Sometimes I believe the very reason we live is just to watch, listen, and interact with one another. I have learned so many things by just being the audience.

Don't ever let fear stop you. So much of what we do is based off of our fears, but don't let it ever stop you. Find out why you are scared of it and use your fear as full.

You are not your parents. Whatever your parents accomplished is not from your effort and neither are their mistakes. All you can do is to watch and learn from them and hopefully be a better person because of the way they raised you.

Never party three nights in a row. There is really no need for this, but once won't hurt.

Size doesn't matter. I mean this in the sense that so many people have an resolved issue with certain sized human beings. Size isn't what matters. It is a person's outlook. I am one of the shortest people that I know but I am also one of the tallest in my perspective. Size does not matter at all.

Be passionate. It is difficult to connect with someone when they do not know what, if any, that they love. Passion is something everyone should have, for someone or something.

One is enough. One might be a lonely number but it just takes one to get things moving and changed. If you find something in your life to be undesirable, it is your duty to do something about it. Complaining does nothing. One is enough to get the show on the road.

Television is not truth. Do not take anything you see on television to be 100% factual. The media is so one sided and biased, you have no idea what you are not seeing. Do your best to research and find out. If you truly care about the world; read, write, listen, and advocate.

You must find God yourself. Nothing anyone else says or does will lead you to truth the way finding God for yourself will.

Take your camera everywhere. A friend once told me that pictures idealize everything. She is so wise. If the image is something you relate to or experience it becomes valuable to you. So take picture of your life and save them. Keep a memory box and go through it ever once in a while when you are down. Recovering memories is such an intense and awesome feeling.

Keep an open mind. In every aspect of life, whether it be towards different people or different music or movies. It will allow you to experience a richer life with more interesting details.

Keep secrets and inside jokes. It is just neat to have something that only you and a few other people know. It makes your relationship with that person special and more valuable. Keep secretes and inside jokes but do not gossip.

Kids are the best teachers. It is said that when one teaches two learn. During my experience with the park program I learned this to be very true. You can learn so much from children. You will wish you were still a kid. There is so much innocence that is lost of over the years, but so much wisdom is gained. The life we live in, is give and take.

Make friends with people who share the same values as you. Smoke with them, drink with them, have babies with them, eat ice cream with them in the middle of the road, get illnesses with them, steal cream cheese with them, run up stair as obnoxiously as you can with them, spend entire weekends with them, discuss the meaning of life with them, laugh till you cry with them, drink coffee with them, volunteer with them, work with them, listen to music with them, travel with them, live and die with them. True friends are hard to find but once you find them they stick, they stick.

Always do what feels right, do not hold regrets or grudges and make the best of what is too come. Remember this life is only temporary. There is much more for your eyes to see. Travel. Sing. Dance. Write. Read. Act. Play. Have Fun, Make Love, and Share your lessons learned.

Blogging


I love to write. Period. So I have a lot of Blogs. It is cool because each blog provides a different feel. Most social networking sites and the like will come with a blog. For me blogging is a hobby but I want it to be so much more than that. If I could be paid to blog I think that might honestly be a dream come true. I was thinking about that today while Lindsay or Mono and I were on our smoke break.

I enjoy smoking and I know it honestly isn't a beneficial exercise but I participate in it because I like it. I am not pressure by anyone to smoke. In fact many people around me dislike the fact that I smoke. I discuss this fact with Lindsay on occasion. She once stated that their is some what of a separation between people of the world that smoke and people of the world that do not. The more I think about it, the more I agree with that.

Smoking truly is subject to a class all it's own but I adore that fact. It is almost an exclusive but completely open ritual at the same time. There is nothing like sitting outside smoking and watching people go by, having a nice conversation with the person you are with. It is best to drink coffee while you smoke your little skinny cigarette. If you have not seen the movie coffee and cigarettes you might still be able to perceive why, just by doing it. There is a connection between the two. Coffee and Cigarettes.

I enjoy smoking for the most part because it is so easy to sit, talk, relax, and just unwind with a friend, a cup of coffee and a cigarette. It is no wonder my favorite things in the world are conversations, coffee, and friends. I might add cigarettes, beer, and coca cola to the list as well and blogging.

To this blog I must add that since I do have a lot of other blogs you might wish to check them out. You can do so by clicking the following links.

So now I wonder how I can make a career out of my obsession with online writing?

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Reflection Part 1

Tonight the reflection must be on nothing other than my intentions.
What are they are where are they coming from?
How relevant is all this to my future?

Lately I have been catching the common cold on purpose. The reality is that I am making the most out of a illness. I guess a person is liable to do this and it doesn't necessarily cause harm. My intentions at first, when it came to college was to learn.

Education was the most important part of my life and it had been for sometime. I am starting to realize the education was never just from the classroom. I am being exposed to more and more new ventures, lifestyles, and ideas. I like this most of all. I have found a lot of myself here already, I have found a need to care. A lot of my intentions are relationship based. I feel that meeting new people has hindered my somewhat as far as my schedule goes.

My schedule right now is my biggest problem. I believe it could be the cause of my sudden shaky ill-fated state. See I am a college student working two jobs. Each job gives me a total of ten hours per week, so that adds up to twenty, cause you aren't really good at math, like me. That is a laughable matter because math is not my strong suit at all. Regardless of this fact; I know that I am being overworked and I am not getting enough play.

Play? How exactly can I define this for the modern day college freshman, female? For me I am out at parties on some occasions and on others I am alone in my suite or with a few most prised individuals watching a movie. I have wasted weekends at parties...in more than one sense of that word...waited! I do not like it. I leaves me paranoid and shaky for days. It my intention now, tonight, is to stop the chaos and sleep. Yet, I have an ongoing issue with sleep. It defines me sometimes as not enough or too much. I cannot get that nice in between that leaves you paying at least half the way attention in class. I either get that startled and completely awake or the slumberous non attentive. Either way, sleep puts me into stages that I have a terrible time getting out. I watched many people over sleep and I used to always feel so sorry for them, that was until I came here and came to understand their admiration for the issue. I find that I can connect myself to nearly anything if I just focus hard enough.

Honestly everything seems connected to me, I just wish I knew how to make others see this. To be honest sometimes I feel like my attendance here is a sell out to the corporates . I don't it to be that way at all, so I tell myself I am here to decide and find what will make me happy to be employed in that position for a while. My other worry is that I am loosing so much of what I used to have here and that I will never get this back; this reverts back to my ideas about relationships and the hardships of the such. I miss so much but I don't want that to ruin my present or my future. To cap it all of the question is still, why am I here? What are my intentions? Sometimes I want to invert the world and see the world through the eyes of another, viewing me.

My wish is that the world would offer itself to love, then we wouldn't have to worry ourselves into hate, despair, fear, and jealousy.