I have a sudden feeling that something good is about to happen. I am starting to see the brighter side of things again and I am loving every second of it. My holiday break thus far has been pretty good. I am quite sure this is the best break from school a person could possibly have(despite the fact that one of my best friends in the entire universe is states away). Regardless, I have got to spend a lot of time with people that I love and miss, including the lovely Julia Kropka. Saying good-bye yet another time, is going to present a fairly difficult task but I believe I will be able to manage because I have made up my mind. I made up my mind on several issues and so therefore, they are resolved.
A while ago I wrote a blog about not making plans because I felt that things were going to fall in to some sort of order nonetheless and regardless of what I do. Lately I realized that I actually don't believe. I don't believe that at all really. The idea that everything happens for a reason is an idea coinciding with the theory of fate. I myself, for quite sometime have always believed in free will.
The debate over free will and fate is quite the interesting one. I understand certain aspects of both and I believe that there are situations in our lives in which both must exist. My thought is that the only two elements that are fate and we do not choose are the elements of live and death. If you believe in God, you believe he created the world and all of it's inhabitants. So God choose when to create live and I also believe he is in charge of destroying it as well. Essentially the message is that you are born because God has reason to create life. It is your free will to decide what you do with that life. Then God decides when you die. Everything in between birth to grave is up to us.
"Life is like a game of cards. The hand that is dealt you represents determinism; the way you play it is free will."
So here's my decision, here is my plan. Yes! I am making plans again because if you don't make them or set goals what reason do I have to get up or live a life? What would motivate or inspire a person to live if they have no real goals? Nothing solid to stand on and hope for, even if they do not succeed at least they have that dream. The idea that there is worth in the things you do, I lost that for a while. I lost motivation and inspiration but it is all coming back to me.
The other night as I sat on the computer and talked to Davey I realized that I was acting like I was not in control of my own life. I was acting childish and letting the things that surround me over take me. Well I became inspired as I listen to Davey talk and as I sit and read inspiration quotes; obviously.
Anyway I felt like I had been kind of dull in all aspects of the word and in all aspects of my life. So then as inspiration was shed upon me like a beacon of light I realized that the way I was acting was completely unlike me. Generally, I like to be happy, I like to make others feel good and laugh and be a sunshine in someone's otherwise cloudy or gray day.
So I was awaken from a state of comatose. I had been wallowing in hollow and dark grounds. I feel a lot better. I feel like I am again ready to take on the world and accomplish whatever goals I set forth.
As of now I want to accomplish a few and move on to bigger and better and so on.
Finish Registration for SBU -Find a Job
-Buy a Car
-Save More Money
-Save More Money
-Take a break with some of the saved money and visit Julia in Germany.
Those are just a few things I would like to accomplish within the year of 2008. I am hoping that this new year will prove to be a good one. These aren't resolutions because most resolutions are about changing or altering a state of mind. I would like to make to resolution to be more positive in all elements of my life and towards everyone else.
Good can only produce good and no amount of wrongs can make a right. I am going to be happier and I am going to do that for others. I am sorry for neglecting people that I care about to be selfish and I am sorry for being so self-seeking. I am done with all of that and I am making a plan to love, myself and everyone else.
"Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
I question most everyone in their motives and I find it near to impossible to trust. I guess in some ways it is selfish of my to want to keep myself whole and completely because I will never find what I am looking for that way. I just find trouble and I find it really easily. I wanna see good in everyone and I can honestly.
In fact below after you comment I guarantee to post a reply of at least two truthfully positive and nice things about you.
I want to produce more joy and I think this is a definite good way to do it.
to all my lay lady lay's that are going back to msu this spring!
I am going to miss you all so badly. It is going to prove difficult to not have any of you around. You aren't that far away and when I get the money and the machine I will drive my little butt to see you. I love you all very much.
to Julia and Davey
you two are more separate from me than any of my other friends but you two prove to be some of the best friends any person could ask for...and I love you dearly. Davey, I miss you and I will continue too miss you.
Julia, I promise to visit you in Germany. Davey if I don't see you in Missouri this summer you can bet I will see you in California.
inspiration can come from good or bad things and once you find it, hold on to it tightly.
I am in love with the world tonight!
I want you all to see, hear, smell, and taste how I feel.
Dost thou love life?
Then do not squander time,
for that is the stuff life is made of.
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.
The great blessing of mankind are within us and within our reach; but we shut our eyes, and like people in the dark, we fall foul upon the very thing we search for, without finding it.
(7 B.C. - 65 A.A.)
Our truest life is when we are in dreams awake.
Henry David Thoreau
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly.
The question for each man to settle is not what he would do if he had means, time, influence and educational advantages; the question is what he will do with the things he has. The moment a young man ceases to dream or to bemoan his lack of opportunities and resolutely looks his conditions in the face, and resolves to change them, he lays the corner-stone of a solid and honorable success.
Hamilton Wright Mabie
So do something with your life because you dream about it at night!